Confessions of a Freshman Nerd

I had a different college experience compared to Brett Kavanaugh. I spent Friday nights in the stacks in the UIUC library. It’s not a boast. I lacked confidence and social skills to navigate the drinking and pot smoking scene in college, and I did not join any club or social group.

But I completed two freshman research projects that stuck with me throughout my adult life.

I found many volumes of declassified U.S. State Department cables from World War II. These reports confirmed the existence of Nazi death camps. They also pinpointed railroad lines that were used to ship Jews to their death. I created several maps that varied by years, showing that U.S. bombing runs were remarkably near these train lines. Why weren’t these lines bombed by U.S. and allied forces to cut the death toll? I found no answers but plenty of cables that essentially made the case for humanitarian bombing missions. The project affected me emotionally in an unhealthy way.

The other research project involved farm unions in the late 1800s—an effort by various farmers to unite and withhold their crops from market until they could get a better price.

After my freshman year, I had a more normal college experience—and no more Friday nights in the stacks. My sophomore-year girlfriend eventually became my fiancé, wife, and mother to our three children. I had my share of self-inflicted disappointments and personal failings, including loss of a valuable scholarship due to sub-standard grades and nearly losing my girlfriend. 

I applied to seven elite law schools in 1978 and was rejected by all seven-- and I lacked a backup plan. I bombed the LSAT, a disappointment that in hindsight set me free to broaden my education and life experiences. That temporary failure was one of the best things to happen to me.

Still, I am glad I had freedom—and resources— to start college as a genuine nerd.